When I asked Trixie Mattel if her drag persona has a different soul than Brian Michael Firkus, who she is when she isn’t in drag, her answer surprised me:

“Think of it like settings on a dryer,” Trixie told me. “Right now we're on delicates. And [drag] that's like heavy duty, you know what I mean? Same person, same experiences, the same jokes might go through my head, et cetera. But I guess I sit different and I feel different and I react to stimuli very differently [in drag]… If my whole family died in a car accident, I would want to find out in drag because I think I would handle it better.”

And yet, Trixie spent most of our conversation telling me how she’s had to dial back her drag and her work over the last few years. “There was a period a couple years ago where I just, like, was having, what I understand now to be like a full nervous breakdown.”

Trixie and I spent over an hour talking about what she learned when she went offline in Kentucky for several months, leaving all her work behind to recenter. We talked about what her bouts of loneliness have revealed to her, and why there is no Trixie Mattel without Rocky Horror Picture Show. And then we waxed poetic on a Townes Van Zandt live album and riffed on what kind of character Trixie might play if she ever guested on The Office. It was the kind of conversation that confirms why I do what I do, and why I love doing it with KCRW.

My chat with Trixie was a conversation all about how the act of making art changes the artist themself. It was about finding peace in your creativity as you enter new and different seasons of your life. It was emotional and invigorating, without being sensational or loud. It was carefully edited, deeply human, and had a lot of room to breathe. It revealed someone you thought you already knew in an entirely new light. Dare I say, it’s the kind of conversation you really won’t find anywhere else besides public media.

KCRW is in the midst of a fundraising push. As you surely know, the federal defunding of public media has left KCRW, and hundreds of other stations across the country, in a deficit that, at this point, only donors can help fill. If Trixie’s conversation moves you this weekend, if any I’ve ever had on KCRW ever has, we’d really appreciate your support to keep us doing what we do. And after you give, I’d love to hear your thoughts on Rocky Horror Picture Show. I can’t stop thinking about it since my chat with Trixie. I really do think an entire generation of gays owes part of their awakening to that film.

Alright! Thanks, as always, for your support, and Happy Trixie weekend,

– Sam

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